Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Randomize
