I think i peed on brittanys purse
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
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Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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