If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
