Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
