just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
It was like getting head from an anaconda
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If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
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it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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