i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
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she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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