I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
