I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
