I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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