I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
