2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
he fucked my hip out of place.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
