I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
