i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize