Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Everyone says I win the strip club
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
