tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
