walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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