is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Text me some of your sweat
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
