singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
