did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
