Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
