he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
