Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
