I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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