Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Randomize
