is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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