pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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