I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize