Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
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I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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