when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
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