I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i came on her dog
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
