the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
