Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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