I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize