I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
i've created a new STD.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
