yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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