listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
