At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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