and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
