Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
