onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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