I'm lost and stupid without you.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
