ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
worst night to have a conscience
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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