sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
