i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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