That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Randomize
