i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
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