I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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