She announced her abortion via fbk
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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