this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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