i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
