wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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