I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
