I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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