Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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