i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
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