Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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