So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
