Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
