i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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