I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
cat food counts as protein by the way
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
