Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
