Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
